Maura, The Little Black Riding Hood

Maura, The Little Black Riding Hood

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was bad,
She was very, very bad,
But when provoked she was horrid!

In a cozy cottage on the edge of the Dark Forest lived a little girl, Maura, with her prim, widowed mother. Maura was bit different from the other fairy tale girls so consequently she drove her mother to distraction.
Illustration of a quaint storybook cottage with a dark cloud over it.

Like all children Maura’s loved getting presents! One day Maura’s Granny sent her a cloak in her favorite color “dark black”.
Illustration of Maura admiring herself in the mirror with dozens of other black outfits spread out all over her room.

It was a big hit much to her mother’s dismay. “You will never find a prince in that get up.” her mother lamented. “Good point!” Maura replied. So from then on she insisted on being known as Little Black Riding Hood and wore her outfit everywhere.

At Miss Anvil’s School For the Charmed Maura excelled in all her studies,.
The other silly fairy tale princesses were too wrapped up trying to find a prince to save them rather than get a proper education.
Vignettes of music lessons, the girls clumsily  trying to play various instruments while Maura is on a full pipe organ furiously playing away.
Rhetoric Class, Etiquette class, etc.

She couldn’t help it, she was just good at things.
Maura watched her pathetic classmates struggling in with their ridiculous predicaments.
Snow White and her poison apple problem.
Cinderella and her shoe problem
Beauty and her Beast problem
Sleeping Beauty and her narcolepsy problem.
Vignettes of the girls prince problems.
Maura thought they were hopeless.

After school Maura’s liked to bring a basket of food to her Granny. Maura would discard the honey bran muffins and dandelion chamomile tea her mother packed with something more the sensible like warm pickles and pumpernickel bread and few extra goodies. Granny liked a bit of excitement.
Vignette of Maura’s basket before and after with various other icky and dangerous things in it.

Maura’s mother cautioned Maura to stay on the forest path, mostly for the sake of the cute little forest animals.
Illustration of animals taking cover as Maura’s shoes come down the forest path.

She would teasingly scold the enchanted trees that tried to snatch her basket. “Naughty things!” she’d say. Then she offered them something more appropriate.
A vignette of Maura handing over a nice fat bunny.

But Maura had special place in her heart for certain forest creatures.
Illustrations of Maura nodding hello to the horny toads, the writhing snake and gently placing the back widow on her web so she could eat her prey.

She trotted down the path and along the way she met Little Red Riding Hood. Like any child Maura had to put up kids she didn’t always get along with, namely Red Riding Hood. As far as Maura was concerned there was one too many Riding Hoods in the forest.
“Oh! Look at the sweet smelling flowers, hear the red robin’s song, fluttering butterflies. It is such lovely day isn’t it?” Red Riding Hood squeaked in her shrill little voice, tossing her golden curls about.
AAHK!” cried Little Red Riding Hood
Illustration of Little Red terrified and running away from Maura as Maura winks to the audience.
“It is now.” smirked Maura.

Maura continued on the path when she noticed a pair of glowing red eyes staring at her though the trees.
Maura took a step back “Who’s there?” she said.
“Ahem…My name is Wolfgang and I would like to eat you.” the voice in the trees responded.
“Oh I see, why would you want to eat me? I think I would be a bit tart”
“Well,” the voice said weakly “ I am so very, very hungry and tart or not you will have to do.”
“I think not!” Maura said “But come out so I see what I can do for you.”
Sheepishly out came a scraggly wolf with a sunken stomach.
“You are pitiful but I think I have a plan to help you and me.”

They back tracked into the forest and meet up with Little Red Riding Hood.
“Red. I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.
“What a surprise but I am not sure, my mother warned me about you”
“Oh live a little” Maura said” “At least a while longer” she whispered under her breath.
Just then Wolfgang stepped forward.
“Look at those lovely daffodils would you like to pick some for your Mother?” Wolfgang asked slyly.
“Oh, why yes they are lovely!”
Illustration of Red Riding Hood bending over to pick the flowers.

“How can I ever thank you?” burped the Wolf
“You just did.” replied Maura
“Are there more of your friends I can meet?”
“Oh yes, plenty.” smiled Maura.

Miss Anvil’s school had an unexpected downturn in attendance but Maura enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Illustration of a vacant school and grounds.

One lovely, gloomy day Maura introduced Wolfgang to her Granny. She who took an instant liking to him.
“Kid, we’ll have to fatten you up! I know a dim and annoying woodsman I’d like introduce you to. He keeps trying to save me all the time. He a real pain.”
Illustration of Granny and Wolfgang bonding.

For then on Maura, Granny and Sonny enjoyed pickles, pumpernickel and princesses everyday.
Illustration of high tea at Granny’s. The Wolf was accoutrements from princesses Maura introduced him to.

The End